Enemies of marriage come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they just come into your marriage to destroy it from the outside, but sometimes they can come from within a marriage as well. Probably the most dangerous enemy of a marriage is a person who doesn’t want to work at their marriage, or perhaps doesn’t even know-how.
Marriage is a sacred institution. It is one of the most important commitments that two people can make in their lifetime. Unfortunately, marriage rates have been dropping to an all-time low for many years now and it’s no secret why.
The Bible tells us that marriage is a gift from God. However, a commitment like this is not always an easy one to keep alive, but it’s worth fighting for. To be honest, marriage takes work and sometimes it’s easy to forget the reasons why you chose your spouse in the first place.”
Listed below are 10 enemies of marriage, which if not managed properly will cause your marriage to crumble. Read on for advice on how to protect your marriage.
These enemies might be categorized in two ways.
#1: Enemies who are external to the marriage and
#2 Enemies that reside in the very fabric of our marriages themselves.
Recommended marriage Books
- Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- Naked Marriage: Undressing the truth about sex
- Enemies of the Heart
1. Criticism Is an Enemy of marriage
We live in an independent culture, one of the biggest enemies to happy marriages is criticism. When couples don’t hear constructive criticism from their spouse, but destructive critical opinions that cause them to become defensive or resentful. We must learn how to give constructive criticism in a loving manner. Tell him or her how you feel about something, without being judgmental or coming from your own agenda, instead summarize your feelings and offer alternatives that work better for the both of you.
2) The Appetite For Intoxication
In this day and age, alcohol is so readily available that it has become normalized. People drink for all kinds of reasons – to celebrate, drown their sorrows, or just because they can. Alcohol is so common that even those who don’t drink will go out with friends until late at night several times per week because everyone else is!
It’s hard not to be surrounded by this kind of behavior when it’s normalized by society itself. But, it is something that you need to consider seriously if you want to protect your marriage.
Drinking too much can lead to all kinds of altercations – fights, car accidents, broken items, you name it. It’s not just the fighting that’s a problem though. Even on those days when no altercations occur because we’ve been drinking, we’re still susceptible to poor judgment calls. We may tell our spouse things that are better not to say in certain circumstances – like how ugly they look when they cry.
There’s also the fact that we’re walking around with a slowed reaction time when we’ve been drinking. We are more likely to make bad decisions because our thought processes are not as clear as they should be. Drinking can also cause us to act in ways that we regret later – like cheating on our spouse or worse, driving while intoxicated.
3) Unforgiveness is a deadly enemy of marriage
The most destructive enemy of marriage is unforgiveness. It causes bitterness and separation, unforgiveness breeds resentment, and resentment never leads to peace. It destroys marriages and families.
Instead of fighting against enemies on the outside, we begin to fight with our spouse about anything and everything in an attempt to protect ourselves from more hurt. We forget how much we love each other and instead focus only on things our spouse does wrong (or things they have done in the past). It’s a very easy trap to fall because it’s what we think we should do.
Forgiveness opens the door for healing a broken marriage and peace.
The enemies of marriage can come in many forms. Physical enemies include things that physically threaten the well-being or safety of you or your marriage such as abuse (emotional or physical). Other enemies would be other people who want to either control your marriage, break it up, or be involved with you or your spouse in a way that destroys it. But some enemies are actually enemies from within the marriage like destruction. Destruction is something we do to ourselves very often without realizing it. Examples would be things like drinking, drugs, gambling, – anytime we make decisions that are destructive and hurt us or our relationship physically or emotionally.
The enemies of marriage can also come from within – you can have enemies inside your marriage rather than outside it as well! For example, loneliness is one enemy you will face if not dealt with correctly. It’s easy to get so caught up in your own life that you lose track of yourself and forget about your spouse and family at home – but leaving them alone is an enemy of marriage. If you find yourself lonely in your marriage, it may be a danger sign – if you’re left alone too much, enemies have a chance to come in and destroy things.
Another enemy of marriage that comes from within is stagnation . You don’t have to fight enemies on the outside all the time – enemies can also come from within where we forget about our spouse and let them become stagnant in life as well as their relationship with us. If enemies are allowed to attack your spouse’s passions or goals then they will stagnate and nothing meaningful will remain but enemies instead – even enemies who were once friends or family!
Unfaithfulness has been an enemy of marriage for a long time and will probably always continue to be. If you fall into temptation and stray from your spouse, enemies have found a way in. It’s one thing to know enemies can come at any time but it’s another thing to actually deal with enemies once they are there – how do you handle unfaithfulness? This is where having enemies within your marriage can be the worst ones because many times we would rather not upset our spouse – even if it means ignoring an enemy that is right in front of us.
Another enemy of marriage is neglect . This enemy can come in many forms – some people are just so consumed by outside enemies that they forget their spouse completely! Because enemies tend to build up over a period of time, it’s also possible for enemies within your marriage to cause neglect as well – if you allow enemies like bitterness and unforgiveness into your relationship then you’ll certainly end up neglecting each other. It’s very important to deal with enemies quickly or face the consequences!
9. Emotional unavailability
Emotional unavailability is another enemy of marriage that comes from within (at least usually). You may have heard unfaithfulness mentioned already but emotional unavailability actually has a different meaning. Unavailable enemies are people who are emotionally unavailable in a relationship, often because they’re too focused on their own lives or enemies. Your spouse will certainly be emotionally unavailable if you end up dealing with enemies like bitterness – and that’s even worse than simply being physically unavailabe because enemies can only do so much damage from a distance while enemies within your marriage will leave it totally destroyed!
10. Unrealistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations are enemies of marriage that come from within as well. What you should expect in a relationship is never black and white – it’s always going to be a matter of opinion that changes based on the people in the relationship! However, enemies can still use unrealistic expectations to damage a relationship by making enemies think their spouse isn’t meeting their needs or wants when they actually are. It’s important to avoid enemies like these because many times if enemies get what they want then your relationship will suffer even worse than untreated enemies.
Selfishness is another enemy of marriage but one that really comes from without rather than within. After all, no matter how much couples may focus on themselves there are limits – selfishness within your marriage is the worst enemy because they don’t have limitations! If you end up with enemies then you’ll be more than likely dealing with enemies alone like selfishness. This enemy comes in many forms from simple neglect of others to enemies like controlling behavior and completely ignoring another person’s needs.
Conclusion : Deadly enemies of marriage
Now you know the 11 enemies of marriage now it’s up to you to save it, there are so many things that can destroy a marriage which is why God has placed the word of God in our lives to help us avoid these obstacles and make sure that we can live happily ever after.
Here are three things you can do today to save your marriage.
Speak Words Of Kindness
God gives us the gift of marriage and you have promised to love your partner until death “do you part”, but sometimes in a relationship, everything is not as it seems. Many people don’t realize that what they truly want out of their marriage is important because if you make your needs known then maybe you guys can save your marriage before it falls apart. The bible says “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” Proverbs 16:24. So always make sure that you give compliments and speak kind words towards each other.
The Importance Of Date Nights
Date nights are a great opportunity to go out and spend time together as a couple. If you are trying to save your marriage then taking the time to reconnect is extremely important. So take advantage of these nights and do something fun that shows your love for each other.
The importance of date nights is that it allows you both to focus on each other, so you can work through any issues or problems that have been bothering either one of you. Date night can be anything from dinner and a movie, going for a drive, or doing some recreational activities such as mini-golfing or skiing, but make sure that it’s something that both of you enjoy doing together.
When Having A conflict attack the issue not the person
When you’re having a conflict in your relationship it’s easy to get angry and say things that you wouldn’t normally say because you’re under fire. However, if you want to save your marriage then attack the issue and not the person that’s irritating you. If your partner does something that irritates you then ask yourself “what is behind this behavior” instead of going off on them for doing something stupid.
It may be very easy to start an argument with someone when they do or say something that bothers us, but it takes work to solve problems rather than just yelling at one another. So before you speak make sure that what comes out of your mouth is beneficial towards the problem at hand rather than attacking one another over petty issues.
The first thing that most married couples forget is that communication is key. You guys don’t need counseling or any advice from anyone else other than each other, so sit down and talk about whatever problems you might be having together. The best way to communicate with your partner is by staying positive when you guys are talking things out because negativity will only drive the wedge deeper between you two. Make sure that whatever problems come up in.