The beauty of being in a strong relationship is knowing that someone will be there with you through the hills and valleys, but sometimes things get shaky and knowing what to do at that time will either strengthen or weekend your relationship, But How do you make your relationship stronger?
In this post I will share with you several proven ways that have tremendously improved our relationship, we hope they make sense to you.
Lets dive in.
7 Proven Ways to make your relationship stronger when things are shaky.
Strengthening your relationship is not something that happens overnight, unlike attraction or turn-offs that can happen overnight. Strengthening your relationship takes time, however, there are some small things you can do today..right now, that will tremendously improve your relationship overnight.
Let me first give a disclaimer: Every relationship is unique with unique individuals and unique problems. We therefore request that you read this post with a pinch of salt. Take what works for you and let go of the ones that don’t apply.
Here we go..
Step 1: Answer the question Why are we together?
You must first start by agreeing on why you are in the relationship.
Some people have no idea why they are in a particular relationship and that is dangerous, not just for you but for your partner.
These are some reasons I hear people give on why they are in a relationship. Are they valid? … I don’t know…
- The person makes them feel good
- It’s a rebound
- They are afraid of being alone
- The person supports them financially
- They intentionally love the person and want to spend the rest of their time with them
Are these good enough reasons to be with someone? You can judge for yourself.
The point here is, wrestle with this question individually and together and get to know for sure why you are both in that relationship.
Let us go to step two.
Step 2: Decide the Goal -This Will Strengthen your Focus
Now that you have agreed on why you are together, you then go ahead and set some goals.
Do not just date, date with a goal and plan.
It is very hard to make something work if you have no idea how it should look like, having a goal gives both of you something to work towards.
Over and over I see couples giving themselves to two different selfish goals in their relationship. What this does is that it stretches them in two different directions.
One may want one thing and the other wants another. This can lead to both of you starting to give selfishly in terms of more time to what they think they should be focusing on.
A strong healthy relationship is one where both couples have decided and agreed on the goal and direction they should be focusing on.
Then together they help each other grow towards that goal.
The Bible gives us a good principle to follow:“
A house divided cannot stand” Matthew 12:25 (paraphrased).
Assuming your relationship is a boat, you first must agree on the destination. If you have two different destinations then chances are you will end up nowhere, or at least you will end up where the stronger person wants.
Having one goal gives the two of you the chance to get to your destination faster and stronger, because the stronger person and the weaker person will all be rowing the boat in the same direction.
If your relationship is stuck then this is the first conversation you need to have. But you might be thinking where do I start? Don’t worry, let me give you some pointers.
How do you come up with a goal for your relationship
The easiest way to find a goal for your relationship is by asking each other these three questions.
- Why are we together?(this is the question we started with in the first step)
- What is the point of us dating?
- How long are we dating?
- Where are we in the relationship and where are we going?
Remember the old quote by Zig Zigglar “If you aim at nothing you will hit it every time”.
Hope this helps you start, if you need further help on this, check out this YouTube channel.
Let us go to the third step.
Step 3: Provide a Safe Environment For Teamwork
Now that you have agreed on the direction and destination. It’s time to work on your team dynamic.
There is a famous Bible scripture that says “two cannot walk together without first agreeing” Amos 3:3 (paraphrased). This is true for any relationship you must walk together.
Look at your relationship as a team sport, if the two of you are in one team you must work towards a goal and you must work together.
Achieving that goal whether big or small will bring so much fulfillment and joy. But for you to achieve that goal you must work together.
On the flip side working towards a goal together will also challenge your team dynamics. It is very unlucky that you will be paired with someone who is soft like you.
Chances are that the person will be as selfish as you are, and working together to build the strong, healthy relationship you desire you might find that this selfishness will play out.
For me I never thought I was selfish until I got married, this was a huge red flag that needed to be fixed.
When I discovered that a healthy relationship is a blend of both personalities I knew right away our relationship was lacking something.
You can learn from us. Your relationship could be stronger and healthier if only you allow the other person to contribute.
Now that we are clear on that let us look at the fourth one.
Step 4: Accept the reality.
As you start working together you will quickly realize that you and your partner are not perfect, and some of those imperfections might be a huge drama in your relationship.
Growing a strong relationship requires you to accept the reality of these challenges.
Accepting the reality that your partner might have some serious shortcoming will help you deal with him/her graciously.
A strong relationship is built by two imperfect people working graciously together.
Step 5: Patience and Forgiveness
Love requires work and most of the time it requires patience and forgiveness.
Being in a relationship with someone comes with many challenges. People get hurt and moving past those moments requires forgiveness and patience.
Don’t hold grudges. Don’t keep scores. Forgive and be patient with each other.
Step 6: Pray
Some things will be hard to forgive and that’s where prayer comes in. Pray for your heart and for your partner on a regular basis.
Let God guide your relationship to a sure foundation.
Step 7: Talk -This Will Strengthen Your Communication
Most relationships weaken and die because people stop talking to each other. Sweeping things under the carpet will ruin your relationship in the long run.
Find time to talk to each other about deep things and feelings.
We believe in talking and having good dates for quality conversion.
Conclusion: Make Your Relationship Stronger
These are the things that make a relationship stronger. You can decide the goal, accept the reality, create a healthy environment for teamwork, patience, forgiveness, prayer and lots of love.
These are not the only things that can strengthen your relationship. We thought of sharing these top 7 steps to help you kick start your relationship on this journey.
Let us know on the comment what you think. Share with a friend.